Best Ways to Help Kids with the “I Can’t Do It” Attitude

The human mind is the ultimate enabler, turning thoughts into vision and visions into reality through actions. We can move mountains out of the positive thoughts we have or get stuck at the slightest bend in the road with the negative ideas clouding our mind. Understanding the power of the mind is one of the best things we can do for our personal development and we, at the Lotus Valley International School, believe that this understanding is something that should find its foundation right during the tender age.

Kids go through new lessons and new struggles every day. It is the phase when everything from getting dressedup to doing homework and to cleaning up their own space seems to bea daunting task. We have noticed that there are basically two types of toddlers: one with the “I will do it myself” attitude and the other with the “I can’t do it” belief. Making that journey from this negative mindset into a positive vision and self-belief is perhaps one of the best lessons we can teach our young ones. However, it will be a mistake to consider that kids will learn to be go-getters from the very first instance of your attempts to imbibe the positive approach in them. The lesson needs to be delivered gradually but surely and we believe that the following are some of the best ways to ensure that.

Stop rescuing your child

We understand that, as parents, it is highly tempting to jump in and rescue your kids when they are struggling. However, this way you will only end up adding to their “I can’t do it” attitude. When you step in to help, you are unintentionally conveying to your child that you agree they cannot do it and thereby, exacerbating their negative behavior. Instead, try to walk them through the situation and break the job into smaller tasts so that they can take the baby steps to success.

Let them take the final step

There are times when the kids really can’t do it all on their own and they will need a bit of your help to move forward. The younger kids might struggle to tie their shoelaces or getting their arms through the shirt. The older kids may struggle with cleaning up a messy room or handling school projects. We would suggest you to help them if they are not going to get it but back right away before they complete the task as that will give them the joy of completing the task successfully by themselves.

Reframe their negative ideas

Once the kids successfully complete a task, make sure that you reframe their negative thoughts through encouraging their act. Tell them things like “See, you thought you can’t do it but you did. It’s good that you stuck with it and did not give up.” They will be able to internalize their success when you reframe their negativity and thus, the lack of belief in their abilities will slowly go away.

Let them take the leadership roles

We believe that it is important to slowly empower the kids with the belief that “I can and I will.” Parents need to highlight the strength of the kids and make them take the leadership roles in the family in some situations. You can tell them how good they are at certain aspects and that will help them to banish the “I can’t do it” mentality.

Teach them the values of patience

Patience is a virtue that children need to develop from the young age to banish the ideas of ‘I can’t do it.’ We have all heard the story of the King and the Spider a hundred times but in case of kids, it is important to instill the beautiful morale of the story into their minds. If they fail and give up at the first attempt, then they will never get to taste the sweet fruits of success. Thus, we need to teach them to be patient and give that one last shot even after they feel that they have made their last bid attempt.

We, at Lotus Valley, a top ranked international school in Noida, believe that the mindset of “Yes, I can do it” comes naturally from positive encouragement and motivation. Encouragement from the people they look up to means the most for children and thus, it is something that you should never hold back from them. Both the parents and us, as their mentors need to ensure that they get that daily gentle nudge from our end that makes them believe in their abilities and turns them into the best versions of themselves.

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